


Bat-Group-Chat

by QueenScarlett



Series: Superhero Group Chat [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Gen, Group chat, Humour, text
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenScarlett/pseuds/QueenScarlett
Series: Superhero Group Chat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010304
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	1. Creation

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Batfamily Groupchat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9923879) by [Batfamily2001](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfamily2001/pseuds/Batfamily2001). 



Dick Grayson has created this group chat

Dick Grayson changed his nickname to Nighwing

Nightwing change the nickname of Bruce Wayne for Batman

Nightwing change the nickname of Jason Todd for Red Hood

Nightwing change the nickname of Tim Drake for Red Robin

Nightwing change the nickname of Damian Wayne for Robin

Nightwing change the nickname of Barbara Gordon for Oracle

Nightwing change the nickname of Alfred Pennyworth for Al

Nightwing change the nickname of Cassandra Cain for Batgirl

Nightwing change the nickname of Stephanie Brown for Spoiler

Nightwing change the group change name for BatFamily

Nightwing: YO!

Oracle: Hello

Red Robin: Wassup

Red Hood: No

Red Hood has quit this group chat

Nighwing added Red Hood

Red Hood has quit this group chat

Nighwing added Red Hood

Red Hood has quit this group chat

Nighwing added Red Hood

Red Hood has quit this group chat

Nighwing added Red Hood

Red Hood has quit this group chat

Nightwing: Barb!

Oracle: On it

Nighwing added Red Hood

Red Hood: Hey!

Nightwing: Everybody stay here

Robin: why...

Nightwing: Because I feel we don't talk anymore, and I miss that

Red Hood: But I hate talking to you, you dick

Robin: Shut up dead man

Red Hood: I'm gonna kill you one day kiddo

Nightwing: Calm down Jason

Red Robin: You sure it's a great idea to do this, Dick?

Oracle: I think it is

Spoiler: Yo

Red Hood: It's Stupid as fuck, it's so... You

Spoiler: Bye

Nightwing: Too bad, we doing this again

Al: I'm sure it will be fun

Batgirl: Hi Alfred, I miss you!

Al: I miss you all, even if three of you are in the same room right now.

Oracle: omg again..

Oracle: Speak to each other!

Nightwing: Believe it or not this is the easiest way to talk to Damian

Robin: It,s because I don't like to talk to any of you

Al: Even me?

Robin: Except you

Spoiler: I thought the last convo was deleted

Nightwing: Yeah, it was.

Al: Question? Why was the last one deleted in the first place?

Nightwing: Well SOMEONE, forget his phone and SOMEBODY hacked it, and we almost got screwd up.

Red Hood: Wait, what?

Robin: I'm sure it's Jason, always a disappointment

Red Hood: STFU

Oracle: It's not Jason..

Robin: Cassandra?

Nightwing: Neither..

Robin: Tim?

Nightwing: Nope

Robin: Ok then who? 

Robin: Who's the dumbass who forgot his phone?

Nightwing: Well, it all start with the Riddler incident.

Red Hood: ...

Red Robin: ...

Batgirl: ...

Robin: ...

Robin: You're kidding right?

Nightwing: Nope

Red Robin: him... 

Nightwing: Yup

Robin: dad...

Thought we said it stayed between you and me, Dick :Batman


	2. Pizza

Nightwing: Hey, I'm ordering pizza

Nightwing: Anyone wants something

Oracle: What topping?

Nightwing: Pepperoni and cheese. Classic

Red Robin: I'll be back in two or three days, can you saved me some?

Red Robin: I'll pay for my share

Nightwing: Sure, how many slice?

Red Robin: Where are you ordering from?

Nightwing: Flash Pizza

Red Hood: Yikes

Nightwing: ?

Red Robin: ?

Red Robin: Two or three slice btw

Red Hood: Flash Pizza is disgusting

Nightwing: What?

Nightwing: How can you say that

Nightwing: They have the best cheese!

Red Hood: Fuck no! Best Cheese is clearly Sal Pizza

Red Robin: SAL PIZZA?!?

Red Robin: It's the worst pizzeria ever

Oracle: it's expensive for nothing

Red Hood: They have cheese and meat that comes directly from Europe

Oracle: Y'a, illegaly

Red Robin: We're talking about Salvatore Maroni Pizzeria, right...

Red Hood: Y'a, end?

Red Hood: It's still better than Flash Pizza

Robin: Grayson, I'll take one vegetarian.

Nightwing: Noted

Red Hood: ughs

Oracle: what again

Red Hood: No meat pizza is no pizza

Batgirl: The first pizza did not have meat, you know

Batgirl: Three slice please.

Al: I'll take one Master Dick

Nightwing: Noted Noted

Red Hood: Come on!

Nightwing: So three pepperoni and one vegetarian?

Oracle: Sound good

Red Robin: Thanks man

Red Hood: You guy have poor taste

Robin: Shut up Todd

Red Hood: You're thw worst one with your vegetarian pizza

Robin: You have a problem with vegetarian?!!

Red Hood: No, just a problem with you

Al: Master Jason, Master Damian, please calm down at one

Al: You two should stop using this group chat to insult each other

Robin: sorry

Red Hood: sorry Al

Al: Say it to each other

Red Hood: ...

Red Hood: sorry

Robin: sorry

Nightwing: So

Nighwing: Want anything Jason?

Red Hood: Can I have a Coke?

Nightwing: Sure!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions for futur chapters, feel free to comment on them.


	3. The Robinilation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing that really happend (twice) in one of my friend group-chat

Nightwing changed his nickname to Robin

Robin: What?

Robin change the nickname of Red Hood for Robin

Robin: why?

Robin change the nickname of Red Robin for Robin

Robin: wait.. why did you **all** change your picture for mine

Robin: oh no

Robin: what?

Robin: Who's idea was that?

Robin: It was Robin idea

Robin: Urg, which one

Robin: Robin!

Robin: Robin!

Robin: Robin!

Robin: Omg, I can't even know who is who.

Robin: what's the problem Robin?

Robin: Well, Robin, Robin said we were not Robin, so I prouve him wrong

Robin: That's a great idea Robin

Robin: Omg, you've changed everything in your profil

Robin: It's because we are Robin

Robin: Shut up Jason

Robin: HEY! It's Robin, Robin! AAnd besides, you got the wrong Robin.

Robin: How can I know, you all look the same.

Robin: Exactly Robin, we are all Robin

Al: Master Robin, would you like your toxedo in your room?

Robin: What are you talking about Al?

Robin: He was talking to Robin, Robin. Not you

Robin: Yes Alfred, thank you very much

Al: My pleasure Robin

Robin: ok that's it!

Robin: WTF

Robin: I can't change anything

Robin: Why would you change something Robin?

Robin: cause I'm Robin, you are not!

Robin: Well if I look at this convo and our costume in our room, we are Robin

Robin: Shut up Tim! I'm the one and only Robin here!

Robin: Once again, you got wrong

Robin, I need you to investigate a house in the 5th avenue :Batman

Robin: Which house?

Not you Robin... I meant Robin :Batman

Robin: dubwiuduweiqfuwq

You have to learn who is who, Robin :Batman

So can you? :Batman

Robin: I'm on it father!

Thank you son :Batman

Robin: I'm his son. I'm your son, father

You are all my children, Robin :Batman

You have to learn that :Batman

Robin: OK FINE I GET IT!!

Robin: You can stop now

Robin: Why?

Robin: Y'a what's the problem, Robin?

Robin: dkdeh

Robin: Fiiiiiiine. You were all Robin

Robin: and?

Robin: And Father's sons

Robin: And?

Robin: And I'm sorry I said I was superior to you all and that you didn't derserve to be here

Robin: Apologies accepted, Robin

Robin: :)

Robin changed his nickname to Nightwing

Nightwing change the nickname of Robin for Red Hood

Nightwing change the nickname of Robin for Red Robin

Robin: Was it really necessary tho

Nightwing: I had fun, it's been a while since I was Robin

Red Robin: Dude, same

Red Hood: I don't miss it

Oracle: you guys are dumb...


	4. The plan

@Everyone I need your help :Batman

Robin: what's going on dad

Oracle: Yes Batman

I'm at the villain meet-up :Batman

The police is ready :Batman

But there is one thing :Batman

Nightwing: What?

Red Hood: ?

Ok, so Harvey just finised his story about how he almost got me :Bamtan

Oracle: Ok

And I almost finished mine, but :Batman

I don't have an end :Batman

Nightwing: Who are you again?

Killer Croc :Batman

But how could this guy defeat me? :Batman

Robin: He trew you in an endless pit, but I was there to save you

Red Hood: Naaaaah

Red Hood: He tried to est you, but you maneged to beat the F*** of him

Oracle: You could say that he cornered you, but you use a smoke bomb to get out

Red Robin: we talk about Batman vs Killer Croc here

Red Robin: For once, WE have a chance to create a epic scene

Please hurry guys, I'm almost finish :Batman

Red Hood: You called the Batwing to shoot him

Red Robin: When did Bruce ever did that to anyone

Red Hood: Never played Injustice 2, hmm?

Red Robin: That's a game!

Robin: When I think of it, you're the only one who didn't get in it

Red Robin: I don't care

Robin: Maybe it's because no one would love to play you

Oracle: Guys, enough

Oracle: That's not the subject here

Red Hood: I was a DLC that everybody liked

guys... :Batman

Red Hood: Yo, it's not easy

Oracle: Can't you just tell someting simple?

Guess why I'm asking you all :Batman

Al: How about a fight in the sewer?

Ok? :Batman

Go on :Batman

Al: He could have tried to drown you

Al: But you used one of your electric gadgets to cripple him

Not bad Alfred :Batman

I can always count on you :Batman

Nightwing: WAAIT!!

What Nightwing? :Batman

Nightwing: I just had the perfect idea!

? :Batman

Nightwing: Ok, so he cornered you, right?

Ya :Batman

Please go quick Dick :Batman

Nightwing: Ok so you had nowhere to go. 

Nightwing: And it's at this moment that he

Nightwing: threw you a rock!

Oracle: ...

Robin: ...

... :Batman

Red Hood: ...

Red Robin: ...

A Rock... :Batman

Nightwing: Y'a!

Nightwing: A BIG ROCK!

Oracle: for real..

Red Robin: are you serious..?

Nightwing: Hardly Serious

Nightwing: As that rock

Red Hood: men..

You know what? :Batman

I'll take it :Batman

Robin: WHAT?!?

Red Robin: what..

Nightwing: YESSSS

Red Hood: Come on!!

Oracle: But.. no

Red Hood: But the Batwing idea!

It something that Croc would actually do :Batman

Thanks son :Batman

Nightwing: Anytime Dad!


	5. Next Gen

Nightwing: Yo guys

Nightwing: I just got the PS5

Red Robin: NICE!

Red Robin: I got the Xbox Series X

Nightwing: Ah men, awesome!

Red Hood: console loser

Red Robin: ?

Nightwing: ?

Red Hood: Everyone knows that PC is better

Nightwing: not again..

Red Robin: pls Jason, don't start

Red Hood: Yo, it's not my fault if what I'm saying is true

Red Hood: PC is the best plateform for FPS

Red Hood: and we got better graphic

Red Robin: You know there is other game than FPS?

Red Hood: Pffff

Red Hood: FPS are the best

Nightwing: I prefer to play action adventure game

Nightwing: Like Spiderman or Batman Arkham game

Red Hood: Those game sucks

Red Hood: Plus, the fact that you fight the same ennemy in the Arkham series is lame.

Red Hood: It's always the Joker

Red Robin: In Arkham Knight, it's you and Scarcrow, dude?

Red Hood: Yes I know, I was awesome

Red Hood: But in the end, it's was the Joker the real problem.

Robin: I prefer stick with my Switch, best of the two world

Nightwing: Switch is awesome

Nightwing: I love BotW

Red Hood: Ok, no

Red Hood: First it's exepensive for nothing

Red Hood: And it doesn't have 4K

Robin: I don't care about graphic

Robin: If the game are good, it's good for me

Robin: And dont's talk about money..

Robin: My switch + my games cost 600$

Robin: When your PC alone cost 3 500$

Red Hood: I bought quality

Red Robin: that's why I don't like PC Master race

Red Robin: They always do that

Red Hood: Do what?

Red Robin: Brag nonstop

Red Hood: But, again, in the end, I'm right

Nightwing: Ok, you know what?

Nightwing: I don't care

Nightwing: who want to play Minecraft?

Robin: I'm down

Red Robin: Me too

Red Hood: Sure

Nightwing: oooh sorry, but you can't join

Nightwing: Because your version is higher than us, sorry

Red Hood: ...

Red Robin: isn't sad

Red Hood: I can go back to join you, you know?

Robin: Y'a, but we don't wanna

Red Robin: Sorry pal

Red Hood: fuck you guys..


	6. Who will be next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this took a while, I'm quite busy lately

Red Robin: Hey guys

Red Robin: I just saw an episode of Big Bang Theory

Robin: Ok?

Red Robin: I didn't really like the show, but that's not the point

Red Robin: In the episode, Sheldon and that guy Stewart (I think) talk about who should be the next Batman

Robin: ?

Nightwing: ?

Nightwing: and?

Red Robin: one of them said it should be Dick

Red Robin: and the other one said it was Jason

Nighwing: wait what?

Red Hood: Wtf?!?

Red Hood: I'm the F****** last one who would want to be that guy

Nighwing: true that 

Red Hood: How come ANYONE could come to that conclusion??

Robin: even then, if anyone should become the next Batman, it should be me. I'm his biological son after all

Nightwing: Damian, belive me, you don't want to be Batman

Red Robin: and you are waaaaaay to young

Red Robin: I'll be a better fit

Red Robin: After all, I'm the true Wonder Boy

Batgirl: Tim.. please..

Batgirl: don't start

Nightwing: I think I could be the best Batman, I'm doing the job since the beginning

Oracle: Oh please, Dick, not you too

Robin: Yo what?

Red Robin: didn't you quit to become independant

Nightwing: Y'a but you know

Nightwing: Maybe someday I'll could do the job

Nightwing: Like if he want a break for a while

Oracle: something he should do actually

Red Hood: I don't like to aggree with you useally, but y'a..

Red Hood: He should

Red Robin: So

Red Robin: If he take a break, who should be Batman

Red Robin: Me or Tim

Batgirl: I think it should be me

Nightwing: ?

Red Robin: ?

Robin: ???

Batgirl: I'm the closest to the Bat actually

Batgirl: You are all bird after all

Nightwing: ...

Red Robin: ...

Robin: ...

Red Hood: Oof

Red Hood: I give her my vote

Oracle: same

Nighwing: what..?

Al: I agree with Miss Brown

Red Robin: Al

Red Hood: XD

Robin: I still think it should be me

I don't want to be rude :Batman

But If I had to choose :Batman

I'll would choose Alfred :Batman

Nightwing: Ok how??

Nightwing: Just how???

Well, he know the job more than any of you :Batman

He help me since the beginning (and he is the best) :Btaman

So yeah :Batman

I vote for Alfred :Batman

Red Hood: I change my vote

Red Robin: you guys are dum..


	7. WW84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***SPOILER WARNING***
> 
> And sorry if this took time, I didn't had any idea for it

Red Robin: I just saw WW84

Oracle: Oh nice

Oracle: How was it?

Red Robin: meh..?

Red Robin: I mean, it wasn't that bad, but..

Red Robin: not great as the first one

Nightwing: I didn't like the ending

Nightwing: And Max Lord

Nightwing: and cheetah...

Oracle: Oh no really? 

Oracle: own...

Nightwing: Like, I fought her before, and she was way more..

Nightwing: powerfull? Idk

Red Robin: Like I said, the movie wasn't that bad

Red Robin: but clearly the first one was WAAAAY better

Robin changed his nickname to True-Robin

True-Robin: the Museum Scene made no sence..

True-Robin: Wonder Woman was supposed to be weaker at this point of the movie

Nightwing: Y'a so?

True-Robin: Then how can she be better at making objects disappear

True-Robin: when in her full power

True-Robin: she has a hard time making a mug disappear?

Red Hood: Yo spoiler?

Red Robin: sorry

True-Robin: You had the time to watch it deadman..

Red Hood: F*** You Fake Robin

Red Hood: And no I can't

Nightwing: why?

Red Hood: f******* HBO Max

Nightwing: ?

Red Robin: ?

Oracle: ?

Nightwing: You don't have it??

Red Hood: I'm already paying for my appartment, food, Netflix, Disney+ and Amazon Prime

Red Hood: I'm paying for THREE Streaming services, it's already a lot

Red Hood: Everyone is making their streaming services and..

Red Hood: it's F********************************

Nightwing: Y'a I get that..

Red Robin: true

True-Robin: ...

True-Robin: Just come back to the house?

Red Hood: And live with you?

Red Hood: F*** off

Red Robin: It's a bit too much

Oracle: didn't you pirate Netflix?

Red Hood: Y'a, but.. urg

Red Hood: My roomates didn't like the idea..

Red Hood: so yeah

Oracle: so back to the subject

Oracle: Wonder Woman 1984

Oracle: Worth it or not?

Red Robin: Not really

Nighwing: I'll say give it a shot

Oracle: Ok thanks

Oracle: btw, Jason

Red Hood: ?

Oracle: I'll give you a free account if you say please

Red Hood: ...

Red Hood: That's too much to ask

Oracle: That's what I thought

Nightwing: XD


End file.
